Frequently Asked Questions

New York

What's in it for Me ?

1. We help our members sift though a sea of (mostly bad) Information and advice: We weed through all of the so-called gurus to help members figure out what is good and what is a waste of time and money.
2. We are considered the key to the city in every place we have a presence. This means you can make friends, get access into nightclubs, get wings, and find out goings if you are new (or a veteran) of that city.
3. Content: We have world-class speakers in every monthly meeting, we give you informational newsletters, we facilitate classes with some of the best in the field at a fraction of the normal cost, and our forum contains the wisdom from those that have been there and done it before.
4. We provide discounts on already existing non-VL products.
5. We are a community of like-minded people with high standards and life balance. We are all genuinely setting aside ego and working to improve our lives. There is no better context for networking, creating mentor relationships, and building life-long friendships. To help create this sense of community, we host roundtable discussions, "meet & greets", and other facilitated events.
6. We provide one-on-one and small group coaching that is based on your individual needs. Rather than teach a method, we help you formulate your personal goals and then manage those goals so that you are where YOU want to be. We do this out of love, not love for
   money, and our students can tell the difference.

What are you guys about?

We believe in the impossible. We are a community of exceptionally driven, loyal and improvement oriented lovers. We balance creating a successful community with creating successful relationships, interpersonal and communication skills. People are trained in-field, online, by phone or any other media at our disposal. We are here to do nothing less than change the world, one person at a time.

 

How did this organization first start?

This group started in 2001, as an informal way to get together with people who were devoted to meeting higher quality prospects of the opposite sex and to learn and share with each other better ways of improving ourselves and our relationships.

 

What makes you so different than other similar organizations?

We offer meetings once a month at modest cost, extended seminars are modestly priced, roundtable audio downloads from the web site every month, video downloads of each speaker, community events to facilitate meetings, supportive friendships and camaraderie. We secure the top speakers in the community like Zan, Tyler, Mystery and Doc. We are one of the oldest, most successful organizations of our type in the world.We offer personal coaching, a long term structured program that focuses on individual feedback, goal integrity and with that, assignments and lessons. What was your question again?

 

How often do you meet?

We meet on the first Sunday of every month.

 

Where do you guys meet?

520 8^th Avenue. Ripley-Grier Studios, from 4:30pm to 8pm.

 

What's a typical experience of your meeting?

A typical member comes in at 4:30, meets some new people with a few commonalities and they agree to meet up and support each other and/or visit at a new spot together.

As the meeting starts at 5pm, the main speaker delivers his or her presentation on a special topic that the person takes some notes on and finds at least one or two new things that they are excited to start using because it will greatly increase their success and they've never thought of it before.

Then, at the roundtable, the attendees start throwing around questions and answers and one of them hits close to home and someone else chimes in as well. A person may find lots of others have a similar challenge and one of the more members offer some great advice that worked for them and once again, there is a never-thought-of new solution.

Now this person has a new friend, a new spot, a couple new ideas they're excited to try out and a new solution to an old problem.

And all for $10 bucks!

 

How can I join? Is there a cost?

There is a $20 application fee.

 

What is the difference in the premium membership?

Audio downloads of all roundtables, reduced price on meetings, on extended seminars, on our meet and greets, and our coaching programs. We also have premium member search services for people who want to find local members by specific criteria such as location, goals, or areas of interest, etc.

 

What are the classes and seminars all about?

Our classes and seminars are a specialized hybrid of the full day or weekend seminar and workshops you see that run anywhere from $1,000 up to $5,000. Because of our relationships and ability to bring a large number of members and attendees, we are able to arrange similar type of these special events for only a fraction of the cost. Often this is available to our members for only one tenth the normal investment, or $200-$300 per event on average. We also do this in order for our members to have the opportunity to take advantage of the many styles, methodologies, perspectives and techniques that make the most successful get their extraordinary results.

 

Are you just out to take my money?

Our philosophy is to help you have all resources necessary to build a successful, adventurous, balanced life in your relationships, and secondarily, all other areas of your life. The extraordinary level of organization at which we operate costs us extraordinary amounts of time, money and energy. Since we want you to have the opportunity to take advantage of the best resources available, we offer mostly modestly priced meetings, services and opportunities. Naturally, some are higher in cost, but because so many of our most helpful services are dirt cheap, it sets a standard for extremely high quality for our higher paid-for services. We welcome the challenge to continually raise our standards for the value successfully delivered per dollar spent. Some say, we set the new standard.

 

Do you have an online forum? How is it run?

We have an online forum that is for members only. It has a general discussion board, as well as a section for advanced members, product recommendations and testimonials, wing requests, health, wealth and relationships, to name a few. The forum is moderated according to our house rules which generally focuses on a non-advertisement and non-flaming policy.

 

If I'm not from New York, can I still take advantage of the same resources as the members?

Yes, although prices will vary. You can still get access to our quality and entertaining newsletters and announcements, our online products and resources, take advantage of our audio recordings for each roundtable every month and yes, even join us at our monthly meetings at a price of $10.

 

Why do you restrict non-local guys from being on your forum?

We are not just about building our personal influence and magnetism. We are also dedicated to building a community culture where you can get to know your neighbors, explore the local hot spots, learn from each other face to face and create friendships.

We understand that you want to participate with the local members now, but the fact is being geographically removed also makes it a much greater sacrifice for you to participate on the same level as our current members.

 

Is there a separate online forum for men and women?

Yes, both men and women can join as members. However, because of the safe space we provide for personal topics we share, our online forum for women is completely separated from the online forum for men. This allows the sorority spirit as well as the fraternal spirit to flourish within each community. Another reason we keep these groups separate is because the focus is on having companionship from a one-sided point of view and the typical challenges that go with it. While both men and women certainly have their perspective to offer, the male motivation is not something a woman will take more than a passing interest in and vice-versa.

 

I'm a woman who doesn't need to learn how to attract men. What can you do for me?

Most women don't have any trouble getting attention from guys - the difference is in getting the right attention, from the right guy. We also teach women how to access their authentic femininity and how to relate better to a man of higher quality. The more outwardly beautiful the woman, the more of a challenge it is for her to create interest in her inner beauty. To demonstrate your personality gracefully is a great skill. And of course, there is always the commonly known trap of women who just can't seem to pick the right man. A man who is truly confident is a diamond in the rough - and half of a successful relationship really comes down to knowing when you have a real gem on your hands, without wasting your time!

 

I have a friend who wants to join. Can they get any special treatment?

We will cut the processing fee in half and comp them for the next meeting after they have signed on as a member.

 

I'm pretty advanced, what can you guys offer me?

Not only do we house advanced members, there is a forum just for you. Our members normally pay $10 for roundtable meetings but advanced members only pay a ridiculous $1 dollar to attend. Often we extend increased discounts on our special seminars to advanced members and you will find that no matter how advanced you are, there are other members more advanced than you that you can learn from. This ensures more participation from those with a higher skill level as well as a community where you can be comfortable. Also, this relationship of taking care of our advanced member pays off in a similar way to the intermediate and beginner members since they get to learn from you and you get to learn from those above you.

 

How do I get evaluated as an advanced member ?

This is done on a case by case basis.

 

I'm just starting out, what other resources do you recommend and why?

We have been asked this many times and we prefer you go to the best. The affiliates we work with have been chosen on the quality of product, service and results of the typical student. Please explore our list of partners here.

 

I'm a guy who just wants a wingman, how can the lair help?

Become a member or a premium member in order to access our searchable member's database. Or you could post wing requests on our online forums. Members also have their phone numbers listed in their profile to easily connect with each other.

 

I just want the skills, why do you focus on community?

Our group is about relationships. With ourselves, with each other and with those we date. The strong sense of community creates an incredible geometric synergy that is only possible when people transcend the desire to serve only themselves. Even the most selfish who experience our community spirit often find that helping others is the best way to help themselves and that the value of the community depends on this spirit.

 

Do you offer personal coaching?

Yes, you can take one on one coaching or group coaching for both men and women. We have a 12 week program just for men that allows for up to two students and a la carte coaching for both beginner and intermediate. The a la carte coaching allows for up to 3 students at a time. See our full description here. Our new women-only coaching program will be announced shortly.

 

Tell me more about your long term coaching program? How much does it cost?

Our premier flagship program runs for 12 consecutive weeks. Each lesson covers one focus in-depth, such as your strengths and weaknesses, how to create attraction, strengthening confidence, working with groups or getting to the second date for example. As one Eastern philosopher wisely observed, "if I want to teach you nothing, I teach you everything."
The bottom line is there's a difference between understanding and execution and the learning process must be taken one step at a time. Please click here to find out more details on your future experience.

 

Does this really work? How do I know you're for real?

The results speak for themselves. Please take 5 minutes to check out our selected case studies here.

 

How can I be an instructor?

We have an instructor program designed to evaluate your current level of skill, potential ability to teach, organizational skills as well as your OWN coachability (i.e. ability to follow direction). If we take you on, you will then go through an educational process to ensure our members and students each receive a reliably extraordinary experience. Please contact us at admin@vybelist.com in order to be considered.

 

I'm not very social. I don't really talk to girls. What can you do for me?

We've had guys like you who've come into our group without social skills, but had a burning desire to improve and put as much time and energy as was necessary to overcome and learn to be socially successful. While we recommend having a balanced life, sacrificing a large part of your time, energy and focus is appropriate to get to a point where you can develop the social intelligence that is a necessary foundation to being an attractive man. After that, the skills to manage the male and female dynamic are straight forward.

 

I have a friend who could really use this group resource. How can I get them involved?

We recommend you don't push this on anyone. It is not for everyone and from the experience of our members, it can often cause resentment between friends. It's best for your friends to be inspired by you and let their own curiosity take the first step.

 

I love what your group has done for me and I want to give back. How can I help ?

Right now, we have a small handful of volunteers who believe in our mission and have decided to step up and contribute in their own way to the community. Current functions include: recruiting intermediate members, web program and design, running roundtable events, running community events, securing high level speakers, in-field coaching, project management and multimedia. If you have something you believe is special enough to contribute, don't hesitate to step up and start a conversation with us right away. admin@vybelist.com

 

I want to sign up my youngest child. How do I go about this?

You must be at least 18 years old to become a member.

 

Are you those weird lair guys I read about in the Game, by Neil Strauss?

While The Game is a true story, it was a book written in a way to make the protagonists and antagonists more clearly defined for dramatic effect. We are an important part of the original community but we are nowhere to be found in the book. This is because while lairs are in the narrative, all major events take place on the West coast and also I believe, because we have successfully kept out of the crazy community politics that made much of the Game so entertaining to read or at least, we avoided MOST of the politics!

 

What's in store for the future?

That's tough to say. We developed from a small group of 30 men who met once per month and posted on a free online forum to a full blown organization with a sophisticated web site and several departments dedicated to roundtables, seminars, community events, and world-class coaching programs. While our continued growth is clearly anticipated and we will continually improve how we serve and bring value to our members and community, our direction beyond that vision remains to be seen.

 

I'm from the media, do you have a press kit?

Up until now, we've remained a hidden, NYC secret for the last 5 years and we've successfully avoided attention from the media so that our group can stay relatively small and easy to manage - but our unbelievable success and massive growth recently we've decided to finally go public. Since we respect the privacy of our member greatly,we have conditions for the media we choose to work with. In the meantime, our press kit can be found here.